Tyra Banks, America's Moral Compass

Last week as America railed against national tragedy (no, not that icky war stuff! I'm talking about our fallen mouseketeer- where are you priotities people?!), Tyra Banks was back in the talkshow studio tending to the thankless job of saving America's youth from themselves. Here's a brief recap of Wednesday's Teenville episode:

Brave kids from various races and backgrounds spend time in a fabricated community, where they are faced with making quick decisions based on their first impressions of each other. From assigning occupations such as garbage man, mayor and prostitute to deciding who to marry and even who should be exiled, the outcomes reflect stereotypes that still exist in society today.

Wow, I feel safer knowing that Tyra is tackling this insidious social problem. I mean who knew that teenagers were succeptable to shallow, stereotypical behavior? What a scoop!

Tyra's mystified and outraged at some of the teens' mean choices, though a glimpse at the reasoning fueling her indignation is what's most appalling. In an interview with GMA, she talked about the groups' appointment of an overweight teen as the "Homeless Person." Tyra's noted that she herself had interviewed homeless people for a previous show and had observed that the homeless tended to be thin as they were in fact hungry. Deconstruct these words for yourselves, folks. I'm too tired.

Tyra's troubled not by the groups' cruel stereotyping so much as by what she views as its inaccuracy. Perhaps if her casting crew had pulled in a couple of disabled teens one of them could have lent the role more authenticity?

In reality, casting crews won't touch disabled people with a ten- foot pole. I throw up a little imagining the conversations that went on during production meetings for Teenville.

"Hmmm, let's see- garbage man? homeless person? Ooh, we'll need to pull in some uggos for those jobs."

"Are we looking for tv ugly or really ugly?"

"TV ugly, of course! This isn't Maury! Now, be a dear and get me headshots of some fat chicks..."

Am I too cynical? No, no I'm not.

For in the bizarro language of television, the fat girl is trotted out as a stand- in for ALL undesirable body types.

As for the girl the teens' decided was wearing too much eyeliner, she is SO NOT a prostitute! She looks beautiful, so don't even go there! Except that they did go there, coming down as hard on excessive makeup as they did on weight.

The thing I find most sad about the experiment is that none of the teens elected to reject or modify the occupations they were given, printed on dopey board signs. They followed the rules of the exercise, letting the group determine who they would be based on first impresions.

Tyra's clearly addicted to her own self righteousness, as evidenced by her two shows' preoccoupation with chiding perfectionism. The psychological landscape of Tyra's entertainment enterrprise should be studied. And I love the Dungeon of Self Absorption that is the Tyra Banks Show's website with links like Tyra's World.

Visual description: Five sad teens onstage at the Tyra Banks Show each with a white plaquard sign hanging around their necks. The two male Caucasian kids signs read Religious Leader and Mayor. The two African American girls' signs read Secretary and Garbage Man. The slightly heavier teens' sign reads Homeless Person.